More Time


This has been a very bad week. My husband has been in Paris and I'm happy for him so I didn't let on the difficulties I was having just functioning in an inane hospital system that is doing everything it can to make employees want to quit. I keep telling my husband to figure out if I can afford to quit. The energy sink at work is miserable. It's not necessary. There is an element of sadism to the prancing about. This has also been a period of depression and an escalation of misery. I have been increasing my medication to feel better, but only feel worse. My doctor changes my doses, but I find myself still taking more to feel better, only end up feeling worse. Tomorrow I go to work for two days and discovered I can't work my alarm clock. This often happens with mechanics when I'm on higher meds. My darling college son offered to come home and get me up at work on time. He makes me feel loved, unlike my bitch sister and parents and other hateful ultra-Orthodox family members of the fundamentalist sect of Jews from which I miserably arose. My sweet son said he had to come home anyway to do work. I never impose on my children, but I was desperate. I've been told I will be fired if I lose more time. Four days off last year, and I volunteered to turn the the rest of sick time into vacation time off. Not exactly abusing sick time. I hate my job. I hate my patients. The higher their escalating copays, the more obnoxious their demands. I've been at this for too many years for you entitled, demanding patients who never feel I've given enough.

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